So long Tony, we barely knew ya!

So Tony Kornheiser is kaput! All Germanic peoples please stand up and say "Ja!" For the last three years I have been calling for the head of Mr. Kornholer and each year it became painfully obvious how mismatched he was in the booth. The problem I have is not with the man himself, in fact, I find his writing quite humorous and occaisionally pertinent with my views on sport. No the problem is how he fit into the corporate view of the NFL and how the televised media is distorting the greastest game on Earth.
You think I am too dramatic, a bit excessive, you say? Consider how the major networks "package" a game. They create a story line: 1) quarterback A against quarterback B..which is ridiculous since quarterbacks do not compete against each other...2)former coach against old team...3)great quarterback building upon his legend.
Do these sound familiar? It's crazy, but most of the media heads believe that people want hear their cooked up storylines because the game is not interesting enough. Like people aren't smart enough to find drama in the most dramatic sport in the world. And then, to make matters even worse, they cling to their scripted storylines instead of reporting on the actual game progress. If any development occurs on the field that resembles the scripted pre-game story, the media men pounce upon it and use it as a lever to lift the remaining story they have already planned out.
Think I am exaggerating???? How do you think a clown like Kornheiser got his job. He clearly had prepared jokes and storylines inserted that only served to distract commentary on the play at hand. Reader, if you keep this jaded view of the network story approach to the NFL in mind, you will find yourself amused as you watch the lesser broadcast teams struggle to report a game that goes out of hand.
Better yet, watch them stumble when the major star goes down with an injury, but the game continues unabated... or the star quarterback has a pedestrian day and his team still wins.
So Kornheiser is gone and Jon Gruden is in. Presumably, "chucky" Gruden will provide us with game analysis and explain to us the intracacies of the Sport of Kings. Here's hoping that the new booth will feature football eggheads who will win over fans with their enthusiasm and their ability to translate the game action to us armchair fans.
Dear media guru's: Stop insulting our intelligence and feed us more analysis that educates and entertains...like John Madden had done for 30 years!!!!

No Defensive Choreographer!!!

Yesterday, I celebrated the Dolphins signing of Jason Taylor and stand relieved that the mighty Pats did not sign him to the one year experiment. To think that we were in the running for that used up old man. I ask you: Would Number 14 ever had taken time off to do a dancing show on television? And do I have to point out that Steve would never have shaven his head; history shows us that Steve is holding for dear life to the folicles he has left.
Jason Taylor was not a short term solution, he was a risk that the Pats do not need to make this season. Now is the time for getting young and FAST. Team speed has never been a strength in New England, but now is the time. Realistically, how many great seasons do we have left in Tom Brady? 4? maybe 5? and of those how many of them will he play all season?
No, we assemble the players, the best we can get, and go for NFL domination. This is that point in the game of RISK when someone makes a run at taking Asia and grabbing the 7 continent points. Or, in the immortal words of Hudson in Ghostbusters, "We got the tools and we got the talent...it's Miller Time!"

Will he or Won't he?

The NFL is the most dramatic league in this country and the best entertainment money can buy...but it's not a damned soap opera! This business of watching Brett hide behind his fluttering lace fan at the debuttante ball whilst would be courters vie for his affections is enough to make any real man puke. It's bad enough I gotta watch his be-denimed derriere in between quarters on t.v., but I've just about had enough of the media following this guy around, sniffing for a story from his grizzly grey-bearded crotch.
Let me tell you what a quarterback's job is once his career is finished, and brother, if you saw the last four games of the Jets-Jets-Jets, you know what finished looks like: You thank your fans, your teammates and your club. You drop a tear (silently) and promise to be forever a member of the team. You show up for nostalgia games, shake hands in the press box, join the new boys on the sidelines on important nights...and JUST BE A MAN.
I had the pleasure of meeting Steve Grogan two years ago at a Patriots Alumni party at Gillette Stadium...shook his hand, had him sign my Red #14,got a photo...it was awesome. We didn't talk about his marriage, or his job, or his aging bodily functions...we kept it distant and we kept it football, cause that's all he is for us fans: A football player. I just want to keep the legend high up on the pedestal and dust it off every now and then.
My real fear if Favre comes back? Having to listen to the commentators wax dreamily about the old man instead of the game. Having to look at his wife Deanne in her private box. Having to hear about his love of the game, like he's the only one.
Be a man. Walk out on top. Walk away and don't look back. Don't overstay your welcome. And for the love of Rozelle....DON'T CRY!